The book In The Footsteps of Jesus by W.E. Pax mentions that the writer of the Apocrypha book "Protevangelium of James" writes that Mary was at the village spring-fed-well when she first heard the angel speak to her. (Though it is considered to be written too far away from the time of Jesus to be counted as a valid by most, I find validity and peace in it.)
According to the account, Mary seeing no one there at the well did what any normal human would have done...she ran home. Once she was home and busy working with a cloth while sitting on a stone stool in her home she was approached by the angel again.
For years, I pictured the episode happening in the middle of the night. Waking up to see the angel in its brightness standing over her is a good reason to hear 'don't be afraid'.
But then I learned that families tended to all sleep near one another...not much privacy for an angel to talk. Mary's voice alone would have awakened someone.
No the prospect of hearing an audible male voice in the day light, at a well where all the other young girls and women from the town are gathered, with no man around. And, then in an empty house, with everyone gone, you're all alone, to have an angel appear before you is more frightening to me. I would need to hear 'don't be afraid'.
The phrase itself is suppose to calm the person down because a special message from God is about to be spoken and the person needs to listen up. Keep this in mind, one moment no one is there. The next an angel's there talking to you saying the strangest things. Then he's gone.
I can only imagine the look she must have had when her mother and sisters arrived back home to see why she ran off from the well. It all makes perfect sense to me when I put it into that perspective. That's why she was able to go right away to see Elizabeth. That's why her family helped care for the children when she and Joseph had to go find Jesus in the Temple...they knew who he was and why he had to be found.
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