Painful Peace

There I was on the massage table for the first time, a place I swore was stupid and unnecessary for anyone. But the ENT told me my issue could just be a nerve reaction to tight muscles, so I was giving it a try. The massage therapist moved his skillful firm hands up and down my back slowly. I could feel the tightness alleviating. Then he hit one spot that brought pain. With my groaning announcement he returned to the exact location and applied more pressure.

Can you say pa-innnn? Sensations of discomfort shot out in all directions, like sunbeams spilling out from behind clouds. Until that moment, I thought massages were suppose to be relaxing. At least, that's what I'd always heard. The pain from that one spot reached out to my hip and jaw all at once. I wanted to jump off the table and run as far away from the therapist's hands as I could get. My thoughts scrambled like water beads on an oily surface as I fought to gather them together while tension raced through my body. Then the therapist tells me, "Relax." Relax!? I thought he was nuts. "Relax and take slow deep breaths." He said in a calm quiet voice.

Despite my feelings to the contrary I tried it anyway. And as tough as those instructions were, he was right. As I took deep breaths and focused on relaxing in the midst of those shooting pains I experienced the sunbeams returning to their starting point and then fading away to a fraction. By the end of that first session, my initial problem wasn't solved but it was not as great a problem as it had been when I first entered that massage establishment.

That was many years ago and I have since become a big advocate of massages. They have made a difference in my overall well being. I have learned so much about the body and how a tight nerve-muscle knot in one location can affect the pain you experience in a completely different location of the body.

You may be wondering what my whole point in this story is. Well, currently I'm attending a Bible study on 1 Peter. And the lesson's focus the other week dealt with being at peace when you are going through tough times. That seems like a difficult thing to grasp. Our eyes so often are transfixed on our immediate problems...getting a job, keeping peace in the family, paying all the bills on our income while trying to enjoy life, raising a child, teaching a teenager to drive, the list goes on.

God calls us to look to Him. To lean on Him. To call to Him when we have trouble. And more importantly, to not worry about what tomorrow will bring. (Matthew 6:34) When I was dwelling on these verses I remembered my massages and how important it was to relax. If I can learn to relax and deep breath as I ask God to help me with my concerns then maybe all that's left for me to do is watch Him work and take care of things. That sounds so stress free and so much more peaceful than spending hours worrying about the what-if's. I need to practice this more often, with the big things and little things. How about you? Have you given it a try?

Senior Moments

Have you ever had a moment when thoughts flitted out of the thinking path of your brain and evaporated into the great unknown of space? Or, walking across the room intent on doing a specific action you forget where you're headed or what you're suppose to do when you get there? This is the essence of a senior moment for me. It's frustrating and comical at the same time. How can I just lose a thought? I'm happy when it only takes a moment of reflection before I remember and I can continue in fulfilling my goal.

What does frustrate and confound me is when this kind of a thing seeps into my Christian walk.

With all the lessons I've learned over the years, I should have Christianity down to a fine art by now. I would think that actions lacking any sign of a Christ-like love would be obsolete. Right? "Senior moments" of forgetting what I've learned from God shouldn't exist. I should flawlessly be exhibiting Christ's love all the time. But that's not what happens to me. There have been times when someone approaches me the wrong way, or a vehicle passes within inches of my car and I find myself amazed how quickly rude intonations pepper words proceeding out of my mouth. Comments spill forth before I realize it and I'm left wondering where the words came from in the first place. Hello, where is the love of Christ in this? It's a terrible time to have a senior moment.

And then there are the times I can be going along seamlessly and all of sudden I find myself bouncing off ill spoken words directed at me. Followed by hours struggling to embrace the fact that I'm God's precious daughter and that I am loved. Why the struggle? The words should slide off my back and find no foothold in my mind or spirit. Oh bother, another senior moment.

These are the gut reactions that bear witness to the fact that my inner being is still in need of a good Christian clean-up. How can this be? Years of studying and reading the Bible should be manifested in my behaviors. Why do the applications of these lessons seem to vanish in one moment of reacting to the world or the actions of someone who managed to hit my weak spot? But, as I've thought on the humorous and non-humorous side of this I've discovered a couple of things.

I am no different than some of the people I read about in the Bible. I take some comfort from this. Let's look at Moses for instance. Did you realize that he was in his late seventies when he went to Egypt to rescue the Israelites? And after witnessing God's miracles one right after another, he did a no-no. (Look at Deuteronomy 34; Numbers 20) The way I understand it, as a long-time believer in God, Moses allowed his anger to affect his actions when he struck the rock rather than speaking to it. So, when I struggle with my outbursts, it is not something new to God. He knows people who were stronger in their faith and still failed.

When I fail to speak lovingly or without condemnation in my voice I realize that my Christian walk is an ongoing process. Even after years of being in the Word, I still have room for improvement. I will never be as good as God. I will always need His forgiveness and His grace. That's the way it's suppose to be.

What I can do is practice taking several deep breaths and silently calling on Jesus to guide my words. Slow to speak, remember? (James 1:19) I am blessed that I serve a God who is patient with His flock. He knows I'm trying and that each day I improve so that my senior moments as farther and fewer between.

Did You Know?

I have two "did you know" statements to make today.

Did you know that Paul may not have stopped traveling after he arrived in Rome for the two years of his house arrest? The possibility of this is new to me. I have always thought that once Paul arrived in Rome he never left the place, that his days of traveling were over. But, in reading Chronological Study Bible I learned that there are ancient sources that report that Paul was released from the Roman imprisonment after his two years.

There is a church historian, named Eusebius, that dates Paul's death in A.D. 67. That places his passing four years after he was released from house arrest. This information explains how he traveled to Macedonia as mentioned in 1 Timothy 1:3 and Spain as mentioned in Romans 15:28. Interesting, don't you think?

The second "did you know" has to do with slavery in Biblical days, at least in the times of Rome. While the book Philemon has a lesson is forgiving those who deserve full punishment, it brought the subject of slaves to my attention. When I think of slavery I think of the cruel manner in which many of the slaves were treated in our country. They worked the land but owned nothing, and ate only what was portioned out to them. They could be beaten at will, whether deserved or not.

Looking further into ancient slavery I discovered a few things. If a Roman slave misbehaved, or escaped and then was returned, the slave could be beaten and tortured. Similar to what I mentioned above.  But on the upside, they could own property, including their own slaves. They could even buy their freedom from their master. If positioned in a house of wealth they could save money, buy their freedom and then with the help of their former master find a place in society. (This is according to Chronological Study Bible)

God did not condemn slave owners. He, however, addresses slaves as to their behaviors, see Paul's writing in Colossians 3:22-25. You see, slaves were a part of how life functioned in those days. Matthew 18:23-35 and 25:14-28 give us a glimpse into some of the freedoms and responsibilities that slaves, servants in the KJV versions, had in the days of the Bible. 

Those are my little tidbits for the day.

Olympic Conflicts

There are so many things I love about the Olympics. It probably starts with the number of competitions I would otherwise not view on the TV. And, every four years I'm introduced to a new sporting event. Then there's the tear-jerking back stories on athletes from around the world that help us to cheer on many competitors in their final drive for the finish line.

With a few exceptions the athletes appear to have respect for the skill of those they compete against. What does break the "spirit of the games" is when an athlete or coach must file a complaint with the judges or referees. Unfortunately, over the years a sense of bias has played into some of the decisions made. But, this isn't the conflict I want to mention. 

The conflict rolling around in my mind started at the end of the Opening Ceremony. I didn't get to see it from the beginning but I did get to see the lighting of the torch. The magnificent sculpture has to be the most beautiful display of the Olympic fire that I have ever seen. And as the fire works went off around and above the top of the stadium the screen shot switched to the birds' eye view of the statue of Jesus in the foreground with the stadium down below.

The commentators on many occasions have mentioned that the people can look up from any location and see the statue of Jesus with His arms spread out ready to receive the people. The camera often ends a segment by showing the Olympic stadium from the birds' eye view with the statue in the foreground. It's a great picture.

As I looked at the screen shot I got to thinking. Isn't that how our lives should be? Shouldn't we be able to look up and see Jesus ready to spend time with us. And, also serving as a reminder to us to mind our manners.

Ironically, the people of Rio De Janeiro are known for their partying lifestyle. Did you see some of the outfits the women were wearing as they danced in front of the opening ceremony crowd? I'd say they have little inhibitions when it comes to their celebrations. Sadly, there's also the city's high crime rate to be considered.

How interesting. Here they have the ever visible statue of Jesus that they are so proud of, and yet down below in the city, the party lifestyle allows for actions that might not equal the call Jesus places on any of his believers. So I ask myself, do I do this?

Do I allow myself to be a part of actions or activities that celebrate or embrace something Jesus doesn't call me to do? Do you? How easy is it to have Jesus in our sights and still do the wrong thing? We know He's there calling to us, beckoning us to Him. And yet we continue in our desires, not acknowledging that what we are doing brings Him sadness rather than joy. It's definitely a conflict I think we can all relate to in some aspect because none of us is perfect. But He is. And He continues, just like the statue, to hold His hands out ready to receive and forgive each of us.

Strength in a Time of Trouble

It's amazing how things have changed over the past year, not just in my life but in the lives of most people on the planet. I can't get over the number of reports of mass killings. It's as though one gunman incident is setting off another and another. Unfortunately, it's becoming a weekly event. While some are terrorist related, others may only be a madman wanting his time of fame. And to make matters worse, these horrific incidents are instantly recorded on a phone and sent out on the worldwide web. It's craziness. Who would have ever thought it possible? Not me.

What do we do with this knowledge of attacks? Do we run and hide, or stay put at home? Do we pretend it didn't happen because it wasn't in our neck of the woods? Do we allow ourselves to become hardened so that the pain of others doesn't tear us apart inwardly?

If I were to sit and try to contemplate all of the craziness in the world I think I would be quickly overwhelmed. If I focus on the happenings instead of asking how is God going to use this, I would be rendered useless. The Bible tells us we will have troubles, that's a given. Some troubles we can see coming and some we cannot.

I certainly didn't see the troubles coming that I have endured over the last year. Where did my help come from in this time of upheaval? I tried to keep my focus on God. He cared for my physical needs through the kindness and companionship of friends and family. I received encouragement, prayers, direction and re-direction from them. But, enough about me.

One thing I've learned is that what I practiced and experienced on a small scale in my life can be an example for all of us in the grander scale of these attacks. I feel I witnessed an example of this in the aftermath of the senseless killing of the police officers in Dallas last month. While the incident made the national news, I'm not sure the "rest of the story" was covered in other locations. In the days that followed, police officers were stopped by the public and given words of appreciation; hundreds of various church people met down the street from the site of the shootings to pray; people representing the two sides of the protest demonstration returned to the site and ended up hugging one another.

God used this tragic event to show His grace in motion. The love of God's people bridged a gap and brought encouragement and re-direction. Nothing can take away the sorrow the family and friends of the victims are now dealing with. But from what I see, there is no mounting tension or threat of repeated occurrences in the days to come.

If we bring God into our mayhem, he will be there. He is our strength in times of trouble, especially when man's will tries to override God's plan. Remember, when circumstances look like evil will result God can turn it for His good. (Romans 8:26-30; 12:14-21)

We can't always see trouble coming, nor be able to stop what we do see headed our way. But we can look heavenward and call out for help and direction. God can send comfort to those who suffer harm as a result of a tragedy. And, He can show us how to make a victory out of a loss.

What Did I Do Wrong?

Confirmation. We all want confirmation. I certainly hate asking the question, "What did I do wrong?" Hearing that I said the right word, did the right thing, made the right move confirms that I'm on the right track. Hopefully, we all seek confirmation from someone who speaks the truth and calls it like it is. In the long run, it doesn't help us if we ask only those who tell us what we want to hear.

There's a basic understanding I think we all have. If we sense from God that we need to speak a word to someone, or move to a new location (with or without a job), or change churches, we would expect to get confirmation. I know I would. My expectations would be that the changes fall into place and life will run smoothly once the new becomes routine.

I mean I hear it so often, "God must be in this, look how smoothly things are going. Look how fast the church, or business, is expanding. Look how happy I am." The possibilities of what's said goes on, but you get the idea. And, it truly does seem to be the case. Which is why, in the past, when I felt like I fell on my face after doing what I sensed God wanted me to do I began to question myself, doubting that I had heard correctly, doubting my ability to hear God speak to me.

But, after reading the daily devotional from Our Daily Bread on Tuesday April 5th I was put in my place. I have heard that Jeremiah was known as the weeping prophet. I mean so many bad things happened when he was supposed to be leading his nation as their spiritual leader. Of course, he would be weeping and sorrowful. How sad, right? Today one might say that he was on the wrong platform, or misused social media, or that he missed the mark somehow.

Looking at it from today's perspective you might ask, "Was Jeremiah suppose to be a prophet at all if the people never paid attention to him?" Look at the first chapter of Jeremiah. (1:5) God called him to be a prophet to the nations. See that ending? Jeremiah didn't affect his own nation in the way he wanted, but he affected many people in other nations in ways he never saw coming.

So, did he fail? Did he miss the mark? No. But, he probably felt like he did. How do I know he didn't fail? Daniel and his friends are my primary witnesses. They would have heard the warnings of Jeremiah, seen the leaders not listen to him, then sadly experienced first hand the repercussions of not heeding the prophet's words. But, they stuck to their guns and won over some of the leadership they served. And, they became examples to the remainder of the people who were captured with them. Adding to the list, let's not forget about Ezekiel and then through time there was Mordecai and Esther, Nehemiah and Ezra.

People have free will to listen, or not, to any teaching or instruction. Even though the people heard what Jeremiah said, the majority didn't listen and the country was attacked more than once. And, leaders were carted off to lands elsewhere. The people chose to not heed the warnings. So, they suffered the consequences of it.

Jeremiah is the prime example that even though we may not see the results we thought God would bring through us, it doesn't mean God isn't working through our efforts. Look at all the writings that came from the few who did listen. We've all profited from their testimonies. I found this so encouraging especially when I hear of writers who barely get something going and they have thousands of followers overnight. It can be depressing. But, I know God has called me to the feat of writing, and I know He will use my work to help those He intends to reach whether it's tens, hundreds, thousands, or millions. Onward I go.

Sudden Changes

Last week I experienced something no one should ever have to experience. A loved one suddenly choose to slip out without notice or warning; taking all belongings and leaving emptiness in the wake. It's a devastating feeling. It rocked my world. Surreality surrounded me. I walked in a haze filled with tears for hours. My thoughts filled with questions like, "Are you kidding me?" "What now?"

Like the single flower pictured below I felt somewhat alone.

But I reached out to family and friends within those hours and found that God has many ways to encourage us when we are down. Before I knew it people from all sides were surrounding me with their presence, their text messages and their phone calls. What I thought was a lonely existence became a mass of support like the bluebonnets in these other pictures.

I was not alone and am not alone. Even better than that, my God is faithful and He is my ultimate defender. As I sat in a variety of church services last week, I felt God's presence and His direction. It was the weekend we get to celebrate the path Jesus opened up for us to enter  heaven. We get to die on earth one second and immediately enter into a new life in paradise and  heaven if we accept His sacrifice on the cross. And that's exactly what I felt God telling me.

This weekend I celebrated the beginning of a new life, a new goal. God has something else for me to do. Human "will" caused the change, but God's "will" is ready to work everything for His good for His kingdom. (See Roman 8:28) It's not what I would have chosen or ever desired. But I look forward to the new things and goals that God has for me that may rock my world in a glorious way.

I still have those moments when the raw emotions come to a head and tears flow out unannounced. It takes me a few minutes to rein them in and bring them to a halt. Then I remember the lesson I've received and joy fills my heart once again. Starting something new is a little scary, but God is in this with me, so I shouldn't be fearful in any way. And, the fact is that any rocking motion eventually does settle down and becomes a smoother ride once again.